A.

Hi, mediation can only happen with both parties being present so nobody can get a parenting plan without the other. If your arrangements are not working and you have no court orders, perhaps you should suggest both of you going back to mediation. Otherwise you might need some legal advice.

Good luck

A.

Hi, it is really hard when a new partner is involved. It appears that there needs to be much better communication between mum and dad otherwise your child will be caught in the middle. A court would not listen to any of this, they will just fix the contact and say get on with it. Mediation will give you the best chance to have your say but you need to listen to each other.
Hope that helps

Jackie

A. Hi. Sorry for the delay as I have been away. There are three options open to you here. 1.If you want advice and would like a legally binding agreement, you have to go to Court (either with or without the help of a Solicitor. If this is what you want, I would advise you to see a Solicitor anyway to discuss the process and get some legal advice. 2. You could approach a family mediation service as a way of reaching an agreement with the help of a mediator. To find your nearest one, go to the National Family Mediation website www.nfm.org.uk . 3. You could try sitting down with your ex and discussing it yourselves (your comment about him being bossy and pushy might put you off this idea).
Good luck
Jackie

A. This sounds like something which could be brought to mediation provided your ex will go too. To find out more, go to the National Family Mediation website and find your nearest service to talk it through with.
Good luck
Jackie

A. I would like to suggest mediation as a way of finding out what is at the root of all this. There may be a very simple solution. If that doesn't work, you can always apply to court for a contact order but legal advice would be a good idea at that point.
Hope you get sorted
Jackie

A. Hi, you would have been given information at the beginning about any agreement made in mediation not being legally binding whether verbal or in writing. If you are now wanting changes, it will depend how far in the legal system it has got. If it has been finalised in a consent order, then you must have signed up agreeing the content. If it hasn't got that far, you can propose changes. Your solicitor should be advising you on this, so I suggest you talk to them as soon as possible.
Good luck
Jackie

A. Hi, this is a legal question so you need to speak to a lawyer. If you want help in coming up with an agreed contact pattern you could ring your nearest family mediation service.
Hope that helps

A. This sounds like a very desperate situation and one which feels hopeless. As I am sure you will be aware, I don’t have the power to change the law but there are changes afoot with the Family Justice Review. Does dad in this situation realise he is entitled to apply back to the Court, either to have the Contact order enforced or to apply for a Residence Order (maybe shared residence)? Legal advice would be essential here. Also grandparents can apply for contact too. This isn’t something I can advise on and would refer you to a mediator.

Good luck.

Jackie

A. Hi, this lady could do with some legal advice as to what a Court would or would not take into consideration. Apart from that, I think there are two issues here. One is where a work rota exists and dad might only be available to have contact outside of this rota, so doesn’t have much choice – I think a Court would be sympathetic to that. The other issue is that mum is saying he lets the child down (I presume by cancelling contact etc) and the Court might not be so sympathetic about that because its not good for the child. If this were discussed in mediation, it would be a chance to properly discuss the effects on the child and look at ways of not letting her down, so that everyone is happy. A court would not be able to do that, so these circumstances seem very suitable to possible mediation. Please look on the National Family Mediation website to find a mediator near you to ring and find out about it.

Hope that helps

Jackie Norton

A. Hi, you can go back to mediation to discuss it with your ex or you can try to have the conversation with him yourself. Either way, you can change whatever you want as long as you agree.

Good luck

Jackie Norton

A. Hi unfortunately the court is unlikely to go back to supervised without a really good reason, ie if your daughter is not safe. I suggest you try talking to your ex. Its difficult because you can't make someone be more interested. You could try mediation to improve communication if he would be willing.
Good luck
Jackie Norton

A. Hi, you are obviously very worried about your son and yes the system does work against you if you are not entitled to Legal Aid. For your information, the government is planning to abolish legal aid for family matters like these from April next year so your son’s ex-partner would not get access to legal aid either if it all goes through. You already know that a Solicitor would be able to give you legal advice, something I cannot do. As a mediator myself, I would encourage your son to try mediation. Although it does cost, if you go on the National Family Mediation website to find a mediator near you, these are mediators who work for charitable organisations, so would charge a fraction of the cost of a legal case through Court. The advantage of mediation is that it is balanced, so both parties take part in the decisions about their children and are encouraged to communicate, even when things have deteriorated. You also need to keep in touch with Social Services to make sure they know you can offer the children safety and security, should that be needed. I am sure they would be pleased to hear your son would be willing to try mediation. I hope you can all get these matters resolved soon for all your sakes.

Best wishes

Jackie Norton

A. I would suggest you try mediation so that you can get an agreement which is understood by both parties and hopefully meets all the family’s needs. That way, she is less likely to go back on it.

Agreements in writing – the only agreement in writing either of you are not allowed to go back on would be a Court Order which is legally binding. Agreements made in mediation or via Solicitors are not legally binding.

As I said at the beginning, if you can resolve differences in mediation, that would be the best opportunity to protect your continuing contact with your son. Your son will be the main focus and it sounds like this is what you want.

Good luck.

Kind regards

Jackie Norton

A. Hi, it cant do any harm to carry on doing what you’re doing. If you can find some local information about mediation so that you could pass on their leaflet to her, that might work better. If you could get a mediation going, it would not include new partners to start with but it could be a possibility later if everyone is in agreement. You don’t say how old your son is, but could it be possible that he comes to you for tea one night after school so you can build a more regular pattern – I don’t know if that’s practical? Would mum be open to those kind of suggestions? I don’t recommend going to Court because it is a long and difficult process and can make things worse, but it might be wise to get some legal advice if you haven’t already. Your approach so far is the right one but I realise its very frustrating if you are not making progress.

I hope that helps

Kind regards

Jackie

A. I would say to this lady that she needs some legal advice. If her income is sufficiently low, she may be entitled to legal aid and can certainly find this out by visiting a Solicitor who offers legal aid and I would recommend she also looks for one who is a member of Resolution. There are some misunderstandings here. Custody does not exist any more. So, if her ex has made an application to Court, it will be either for Contact or for Residence. He will be expected to meet a mediator and consider mediation which is when this mum will also be invited to mediation. Neither is obliged to do it, but it would be a safe way of working out her options. She doesn’t have to meet up with him if she doesn’t want to. Or she can wait for a Court hearing and let a Judge decide. Either way, she can wait to see what happens but I would recommend she obtains some legal advice about what to do if dad tries to keep the kids with him.

This kind of scenario is very common in mediation and can be very quickly resolved – much quicker than Court.

Hope that helps

Jackie Norton

A. Hi, here's my reply.

Its very sad u have lost contact. If you have worries about your childrens welfare you should contact your local authority or solicitor. As they are almost adults now you could try to contact them direct. Good luck.

Jackie

A. This is a very common problem once new partners come on the scene and is often not based on logic but on an emotional response. If you can talk about it between you so that you can find out what your ex’s concerns are, that would be the easiest solution. Perhaps she would like to meet your new partner and in the interests of fairness, perhaps you would like to meet her new partner too? Perhaps you need an agreement that your daughter will not be left with new partners unless the ex is okay with that on both sides. All of this will depend on how able you are to have a conversation about this. In terms of your rights, you would need to consult a solicitor to establish your legal rights but this can sometimes exacerbate the situation if letters start to go back and forth. Perhaps call your nearest mediation service to get an appointment to see a mediator and see what other options you may have if the attempt to talk doesn’t work.

Kind regards

Jackie Norton

A. The Solicitor is helpfully advising that you set up a rota so that both parties and the children know when contact is going to take place. That’s usually a good thing, especially whilst communication is difficult or not happening. This is not an agreement which is legally binding so is not set in stone. The only contact agreement which is legally binding is a contact order produced by the Court and decided by the Judge. Whilst its not set in stone, this means there is room for negotiation at a stage where you feel more able to have that conversation. Mediation can help you with that. You could also get some legal advice if you are concerned. Hope that helps.

Kind regards

Jackie

A. Hi, This is really a legal question in terms of your rights. If there is a contact order which dictates where he can take them, then he is bound by that. I suspect there will not be one, so he can take them anywhere he likes. If you feel the children are in some way at risk of harm, you need to talk it over with children’s services for advice but are unlikely to intervene unless the risk is serious. If you want to try to improve communication with him so that there is no need for lies, of course I would suggest mediation. Then you can tell him that the children are unsettled as he may not know about this. You may want to ask a Solicitor for information on her legal rights.



Hope this helps.

A. Understanding your finances is a vital part of gaining, or regaining your financial freedom. While everyone's finances are different, the following list is a good place to begin if you find yourself needing to regain financial control.

- Revise your will / trust
Whether you have had a will or trust in place in the past, now is the time to meet with an estate-planning solicitor to draft one. This document allows you to determine who will inherit your hard earned assets, who will care for your children in the event of your death, and how your children will inherit the assets you have left to them.
It is important to establish these guidelines rather than leaving the decision up to the state. In addition, you should ask your solicitor about a medical directive. This important document appoints a trusted love one with the ability to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so.

- Update your beneficiary designations
While you have taken the steps to update your Living Will or Trust, certain accounts require you to directly appoint a beneficiary. This includes your life insurance and retirement accounts.
Contact your life insurance company or broker, as well as the companies where your retirement accounts are held and request a change of beneficiary form. This form can usually be faxed in, no questions asked.

- Develop a budget
It is important to put together and follow a budget. Now that you are living off one income, instead of two, understanding what income is coming in, as well as what income is flowing out, will allow you to plan for expenses and ensure you are not overspending.

You may need to cut back or you may have more money to save! Either way, it is important to know for sure. During this process, it is also important to understand how you income is being taxed. For instance, child support is not taxable. Speak to a tax professional to help you determine what is and what is not taxable.

- Manage your credit cards
Have you pulled your credit lately? It is important to review your credit report to ensure that your ex-partner is no longer authorised on your cards. This is an important step for home and car loans as well.

- Develop a retirement plan
During divorce settlements, retirement assets are often split 50/50.This may or may not have worked in your favour. Either way, it is important to understand what you can expect, and what you need to plan for. A Certified Financial Planner can assist you in forecasting your retirement need, developing a savings plan, and determining which investments are right for you.

- Reassess your health insurance needs
It is important to be sure that your health insurance is sufficient to cover your needs, but isn’t too expensive. If it is through your work, don’t forget to remove your ex from the plan.

If you were previously on your spouses / partners plan, you do not need to wait until open enrollment to sign up at your company. Just make sure you act quickly. Most insurance companies consider divorce a "qualifying event" or "life event" and allow thirty days to change your plan accordingly.

- Ensure you have adequate Life Insurance
In order to be sure your children are well provided for and your debts will not affect those you love, having adequate life insurance coverage is important. I recommend using a life insurance calculator or speaking with a Certified Financial Planner to determine how much coverage you should purchase.

- Attend a mediation information session to learn about how mediation can assist you to save money
Solicitor's fees can be very expensive, but there are things that you can do to help keep your overall divorce more affordable. Some common sense and not so common sense things can have a dramatic impact on the amount of billable hours it takes to get your case resolved.

The biggest contributor to an expensive divorce is the extra time spent by your professionals doing what you could have done yourself. The best part is that a well prepared client is usually a lot easier to deal with and makes for a much more favourable outcome. Mediators help clients to reach joint decisions about the issues associated with their separation - children, finance and property. National Family Mediation has well established quality assurance standards. Our mediators are carefully selected and trained to a high standard nationally.

While everyone's situation is different, applying these steps will allow you to begin on the path to financial freedom. Understanding your current financial picture while setting goals for your future are important steps in starting your new life.