Written by Mike Flinn

Mike has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor, he works with adults, couples, young people, and families going through separation and divorce. He worked for Couple Counselling Scotland before moving to Shrewsbury to work with Relate. He now works in private practice.


Re-establishing contact with your children after a long time apart can be really tough and will take time. Mike has a few tips to help you re-build that relationship.



Admit your mistakes.

Tell them you love them, and miss them.

Don’t blame anyone else, unless you have proof you tried and were blocked, in which case show what you did but don’t blame.

Get ready to deal with their anger. They’ll defend the custodial parent. You went once, so you are at risk of going again in their eyes, whatever the circumstances.

Very gently begin to fill them in with your life as it is now. Respond to their questions honestly and age appropriately. 


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You may find Mike's article 'I Am In Contact With My Child Again For The First Time In Two Years. How Do I Learn To Love Him Again?...

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